To get back on track with your partner, it’s important to understand and communicate how you feel about the situation. When I was in college, one of my very close friends started sleeping with my ex-boyfriend behind my back. It’s not easy to bring your relationship back to equilibrium after a major fight. In reflecting on the fight, consider what you could do differently next time. 5. An email is a good alternative to a phone call because it gives you more time to think about what you're going to say. If you’re in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship, that’s one thing. Start the email by expressing your desire to work things out. It is advisable to leave some time after the argument and sending the email. Sometimes people get frustrated when they feel they are not being heard, so it is important to pay attention to what they say.


Your friendship means so much to me, and it's really tearing me up to imagine that this is going to get in the way of our friendship, but I've got to be honest, I still feel unheard and still feel this is hanging over my head. Here are some things to keep in mind: In an interview with the Wall Street Journal’s Elizabeth Bernstein, psychologist Dr. Hal Shorey explains that it’s important to wait to talk. How can I overcome this? All rights reserved. If you try to resolve the situation through email only, things are likely to come to nothing and you may lose a friend. Bonior advises saying something along the lines of "I’ve given this a ton of thought it's still bothering me. But if we all gave up after every fight, everyone would end up alone. If you choose to send an email, you need to bear in mind one very important thing: an email can be difficult to interpret.

“I can’t tell you how many people will think it’s better to say right away: ‘I’m sorry. It might take some time to restore the romance and affection. If, after listening to your friend, you still don't understand his/her point of view, it's time to ask them to listen to you. If not, going through and rehashing the situation might be necessary.

Once you cool off and remember how much you actually love your friend, figure out what you're going to need to be able to get over what happened and get your friendship back to a good place. I don't mean "you wore my shirt and spilled red wine on it" or "you ate the leftovers I was looking forward to all day" fights. Dr. Shorey offers another great tip: accept that the relationship might take some time to fully heal, but schedule some time to check back in about where you stand after some time has passed. It’s cliche, but communication really is key in any relationship. This could be especially useful for more intense fights. Maybe you want to make your point. Here are a few ways to bounce back after you’ve both decided the fight is over. Use a little humour. A little kindness could serve as a reminder that you care about each other, and you care about the relationship. You might need to not be around your partner while the bulk of your negative feelings pass, and that’s okay.

It’s not easy to bring your relationship back to equilibrium after a major fight. If you and your friend can leave feelings of anger to one side easily, move … In this case, it might be best to talk to a professional. If you’re having a more detailed conversation to reflect on the fight, keep a couple of things in mind to keep from opening up recent wounds: Give up the need to be right: Accept responsibility for how you made your partner feel, Dr. Shorey says.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have a sense of humor about things, but you’re probably both a little sensitive after an argument. [Read: ... [Read: How to fight fair with someone and grow closer] #6 Talk about what you need to change.

However, rebuilding a bond that’s been compromised won’t be easy, no matter how long you’ve known each other. We're trying to rebuild trust right now after he lied to me over and over and it's been very difficult. You may be tempted to throw in some last minute passive-aggressive jabs. Here OneHowTo explains how to make up with a friend after an argument. Do not interrupt and focus on listening to what your friend is saying. To properly fix things, both of you need to listen to what the other has to say. The purpose of the email after an argument is to simply fill the void, not to continue your argument. Leave me alone. Even if you and your partner have come to an agreement, the arguing can really put a damper on things. May be she felt bad. If you do not know what your partner expects of you and he doesn’t know what you expect of him, you are both setting yourself up for a lot of misunderstandings and a potentially big disaster. If you want to read similar articles to How to Make Up with a Friend after an Argument, we recommend you visit our Friendship category. Fighting is hard, and figuring out how to make up with a friend is even harder. Or if you criticize your friend too much, just back off. Even if you and your partner have come to an agreement, the arguing can really put a damper on things. If it is clear that your friend does not want to resolve things, it means that your friendship was not as strong as you thought. If your partner or friend isn’t likely to appreciate the joke, don’t say or do it, even if it’s “all in good fun.” When the joking is one-sided rather than mutual, it undermines trust and goodwill and can damage the relationship. One way to make up after a fight is to not engage with the person for some time. You scream, you cry, you give each other the silent treatment for as many days as you can stand it (or until something so amazing happens that you just need to tell them about), but eventually realize the fight isn't worth losing your friendship over. But becareful when using humour. Here’s how you can get your relationship back on track. To do so, you'll have to listen to your friend with an open mind, trying to see the problem from your friend's perspective. Bonior says, “If you feel like an apology is genuine, and you want to put it out there because you feel like it’s real, certainly do so.” Fake apologies, especially ones that are coercive — saying something like “I’m sorry, but you were being a jerk,” — only make things worse. However, this is not always necessary. Polk Audio LSi M 702 f/x Surround speakers. Yeah, same. Some time soon, you'll look back on the whole thing and laugh. It might feel like you’re walking on eggshells until things go back to normal, but that’s better than prolonging the fight. It might be necessary to establish some rules as a couple or even individually to keep from dragging out the fight. So, if you want to be friends again, you’re going to have to say you’re sorry. If your behavior made your partner feel a certain way, give up your need to defend yourself. So i called her, but she being too stubborn didnt pick up my calls. If you wait too long to speak with your friend again the problem could grow. This is fine as long as you take the time to talk in person in the future. It’s easy to disguise these remarks as jokes, too. Then suck it up and go talk to them. So let’s assume you’re in an otherwise healthy relationship and just need to shake off a recent fight. As we've previously mentioned, it is better to let things cool down a bit before you start doing anything. After having the chance to listen completely to what your friend has to say, you can voice your own opinion and feelings. Either way, these jabs, as small as they may be, only prolong the nastiness. When the dust has settled after a fight, your emotions might still be running high. If you and your friend can leave feelings of anger to one side easily, move on from the argument and try to resolve the conflict. A best friend by your side is invaluable, whether it's someone you've known since childhood or someone you encountered by chance as an adult. I made a joke and she just stopped talking to me. However, do not let it go on for more than that. Accept their feelings and consider the big picture. After a few days, contact your friend and ask to talk about what has happened. The first thing you should do when you have had a big argument with your friend is to get some space. Space can give you the necessary time to cool down: “You don’t want to have a discussion while the other person is still hot,” Dr. Shorey says. Same thing happened to me. Dear Lifehacker, The period of reflection depends on the individuals involved.

No one knows how to hurt you quite like someone who knows your deep dark secrets. You guys have made up — yay! Here are six tips to help you do it successfully. Overall, you want to make sure your post-argument communication is productive. Sometimes the argument appears out of nowhere and takes you by surprise.
This will be difficult, but it's very important if you truly want to resolve the issues with your friends.

Like in all serious conversations, face to face is better, according to Bonior.

If you’re really having trouble seeing eye-to-eye, it could be that the conflict isn’t truly over. Of course, if you need space, at least reassure your partner that you love them and things will be okay. Recovering from a fight can take time. At this point, the two of you must be calm enough to listen to one another. I thought I was ready to forgive her after a few months, so I did, but it turns out I wasn’t even close to being over it.

Even if you don’t know how you feel, or you feel like you need time alone, you should let the other person know where you stand.

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